February 17, 2010

Oscar Luncheon 2010


Photo courtesy of Alt Film Guide, click to enlarge and/or click through for the high-res version

Back again (revisit '08 & '09) with some sarcastic observations on the annual Oscar Nominees Luncheon, which was held at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Monday afternoon.

- I don't know if I've ever seen a picture of George Clooney that could be considered unflattering, but this one is about as close as you can get.

- Seems James Cameron is still "on", here evidently upset with the guy in the green shirt who's actng out on the riser below and to his left. Let it go, big guy.

- Seriously, doesn't Quentin Tarantino just LOOK like the kind of guy who would brag, "I knew Landa was one of the best characters I’ve ever written...I literally had to consider I might have written an unplayable part." Ugh.

- Speaking of which, Christoph Waltz looks quite a bit different than his charmingly evil character, doesn't he? The beard helps, but he still has a not-entirely-trustworthy look in his eyes.

- ...and the annual Academy Award for Best Floating Head goes to Louie Psihoyos, director of documentary front-runner The Cove. Looks like he's still only comfortable in undercover mode, covertly dressing in black.

- Chummy odd couple #1: Lee Daniels and Meryl Streep

- Colin Firth might be the most unassuming, nondescript person in the entire photo. You know, he's the guy with brown hair wearing a black jacket and an open-collared shirt...

- Somebody in the back row is actually holding up a cardboard cut-out of the head of what I can only assume is his nominated colleague. It's either the most embarrassing or most touchingly hilarious part of the photo.

- There's an interloper every year, isn't there? Back row on the right = photo bomb!

- Look, another interloper - Jason Reitman! Oh, wait...

- Chummy odd couple #2: Kathryn Bigelow and Morgan Freeman

- Morgan Freeman was nominated?!?! Has to be the least buzzed-about nomination of the year.

- Maggie Gyllenhaal must have known that dress would clearly stand out in the crowd when she grabbed it from the closet on Monday morning, right? Still looks nice, though.

- Woody Harrelson looks trim, fit, and tan, but he just can't get that wild look out of his eyes, can he? Great that he was nominated for The Messenger, in any case.

- Three to the right from Woody = worst time to ever look down at your shoe. How do think that guy will explain this photo on his wall to his children and grandchildren?

- Jeff Bridges just looks like he knows he's going to win, while Sandra Bullock look like she's almost embarrassed that she's going to.

- Mo'Nique and the Coen brothers are conspicuously absent, aren't they? Par for the course, I suppose.

- "Oscar nominee Anna Kendrick"...no, still doesn't sound right.

- I really admire Gabby Sidibe for the way she has confidently handled the issue of her weight throughout this awards season/tabloid onslaught, but man, give the girl a break - does she need to stand next to the waif-like skeleton of what used to be Carey Mulligan?

- Alright, Jeremy Renner, we get it - you're a real tough guy and you're not afraid of IEDs or
the Hollywood press corps. 

- Generally speaking this appears to be a more racially diverse nominee pool than previous years. Throw in a female nominee for Best Director (the fourth in 82 years), and you almost bring the white male demographic below 95%. Almost.

11 comments:

  1. This annual post of yours is fast becoming one of my favorite things about the Oscars. A few additions ...

    Back Row:

    * "I'm James Cameron, and you can just digitally turn my head to be looking at the camera later, right?"

    * Tarantino looks like the guy in the movie who is nailing the single mom but secretly thinks he's going to sleep with her hot teenage daughter and her daughter's hot friends.

    * The award for the Guy Who Is Really In Town For A Business Seminar And Stumbled Into The Wrong Room goes to the dude in the green tie, blue shirt and crooked name tag.

    Second Row:

    * Speaking of name tags: Someone please tell Saundra Bullock that if she wants to make it seem like her nomination is legit, she shouldn't be the only celebrity wearing a badge. Awkward.

    Front Row:

    * Fifth from the left: Tuck in your shirt, pal.

    * Dude to the right of Jason Reitman wins the award for Guy Whose Head Isn't Added Via Photoshop But Appears To Have Been.

    * Dude behind Anna Kendrick looks like a cross between Karl in Die Hard and Scotty in Boogie Nights.

    * Give Anna Kendrick a wrist corsage and a limo and she's off to the homecoming dance.

    * Is it me, or is Gyllenhaal thinking: "These other hos put on major heels, and I'm still the tallest one here. Take that, bitches."

    * Thank you, Carey Mulligan, for tucking away your pixie wings so we could see Jeremy Renner.

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  2. Thanks for your contributions again this year, Jason. Love the pick up on the business seminar guy and Bullock's nametag - she and Jeremy Renner apparently didn't get the memo about the cool kids not wearing them.

    Hehe, guy behind Kendrick - I knew there was a punchline waiting there but I didn't pursue it. Your description is off-the-charts accurate; I was thinking of Igor from Ghostbusters II, who looks a lot like Karl from Die Hard. But add Scotty in there and it's a perfect match.

    In a mischievous way I do look forward to the release of this photo every year; anytime 100 people are in a group shot someone is bound to look silly. Also, I love that the big movie stars are forced to squash in on a riser next to the "little people" who make them look good.

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  3. HEY! Stop blazing Carey, she can't help it if she is ridiculously thin...even though I'll admit that constantly being next to Gabby does not make her look any fuller...And you're right, Oscar nominee Kendrick doesn't sound good to me either. She annoys me almost as much as Jason Reiteman. Spot on about Jeff Bridges too, so cocky...strangely.

    And God Damn It, I just want to smack Quentin Tarantino...every time I see him.

    Okay, what is Maggie wearing? A dress, a skirt, curtains?

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  4. Nothing against Carey Mulligan, just a little shocked at her appearance compared to my memory of her from An Education. And truth be told I don't really dig the haircut, but whatever - I think I'd rather she playing the Cinderella part in that race instead of Sandra Bullock.

    The thing about Anna Kendrick is that I don't remember what else I've seen her in but now here irritating character from Up in the Air is all I can reference. I'm sure she's a nice person and a fine actress, but I can't help but think she took a ride on the Up in the Air tidal wave with this one - three acting nominations, directing, writing, best picture? A little overkill, imo.

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  5. The cardboard head is kind of hilarious. How much you want to bet that the AMPAS folks didn't know they were going to do that?

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  6. I know, it's totally obvious he'd been hiding it in his pocket all morning and then whipped it out as the camera bulbs started popping. He sure earned a big favor from his friend, in any case.

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  7. Oh my god! This is GREAT! I didn't even know they took one of these photos and now I'm the happiest. Thank you.

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  8. Bridges is a stallion. A goddamn champ.

    Second, that cardboard cutout looks like John Cleese.

    Green top, right-side-middle...is that Diane Weiss or Katie Holmes? Some sort of mix?

    A note to Andrew from Encore Entertainment, I hate to break it to you, but Carey Mulligan most likely could help being that thin. It's called eating.

    Daniel, HOW did you recognize the director of The Cove? I have to know.

    Lee Daniels looks different from when I met him. He's got a Black Dynamite thing going on with that handlebar 'stache.

    What I'm wondering is, did the photographer not have a countdown or a "say cheese?" So many people aren't even trying to look towards the camera.

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  9. elgringo well that's like saying Gabourey could have helped being fat - stop eating. I don't know if it's true or not, some people are thin and some are fat.

    I did NOT like Up in the Air, and Kendrick was the worst of the lot for me...so her appearance just annoys me.

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  10. Re: Louis P., director of The Cove. I'm fairly certain he plays a role in the film itself, but maybe I recognize him from research/press appearances afterwards? Anyway, he stood out for me here both because of his floating head and because he doesn't like at all like somebody who works in the film industry, at least to me.

    Re: the photographer. It's funny, every year there are people not looking, and my guess is that there is a riser full of photographers mirroring the group. Maybe not that many, but still probably several. But then, how is this one the "official" photo? I don't know, but either way it's a mystery as to why 100 people can't look the same camera for a half second.

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