"What You Crave!": Idiotic Teens

The Minneapolis Star Tribune reports on a weekend break-in at the Plaza Maplewood Theatre, one of the few discount theaters left in the area. Is nothing sacred? Likely upset at the $1.50 ticket prices during the economic slowdown, two teens broke in Saturday night and, instead of playing classic films or setting up their XBOX 360 on the big screen, they trashed the place for about $20,000 worth of damage. Plaza Maplewood will be closed for an indefinite period for cleaning and repairs, and hopefully this won't signal the downfall of yet another Twin Cities discount theater.

"A janitor who arrived for work at 8 a.m. Sunday found a door ajar. Inside he found candy, popcorn, broken soda bottles and White Castle wrappers strewn all over. Vandals smashed the glass on arcade games, a concession counter and a refrigerator, defaced the ticket booth with red marker, sprayed blue paint on walls and punctured the screen. A fire extinguisher found lying in a doorway apparently had been used to spray the seats, a police report said."

I'm not a detective or a forensic scientist, but this who-dun-it can clearly be linked to the original culprit: White Castle. If only we could reinstitute Hammurabi's Law and sentence these enemy combatants (terrorism against film) to eat $20,000 worth of sliders - maybe while sitting through a double feature of two of the theater's current offerings: The Eye and Vantage Point.

"Lt. Dave Kvam was unsure of a motive, but that it might be 'some kind of perverse pleasure.'"

The vandalism or the burgers?