Why You Should See The Last Airbender

To review: two of M. Night Shyamalan's films are among the Five Worst Movies I Have Ever Seen. 

Since The Happening, though, I've tried to look at and, yes, even appreciate Shyamalan's films as milestones in cinema history. It's incredibly rare that movies this distinctively awful are seen by so many millions of people - nearly all of whom, ironically, would consider them unwatchable. The opening of a Shyamalan film is truly a social phenomenon in my eyes, much different than the latest teen fiction trilogy installment or fanboy-frothworthy video game adaptation.

Ask yourself, how often are you around to witness a formerly celebrated artist's career - be it a musician, writer, or painter - dramatically crumble through no fault or circumstance (i.e., drugs, mental illness) other than their own bad ideas?

I'm not asking you to appreciate the art of Shyamalan's films, but rather the rarity of his career. This is a filmmaker - by most accounts supremely talented (at what? I couldn't say) - who despite obscenely negative reviews still continues to write and direct blockbuster films with major studio backing. It would be as if LeBron James were to suddenly go ice cold for the next decade with his new team (oh, let's say 2.5 points per game and the team wins fewer than 20 games every year), and yet still command sell-out crowds and an eight-figure signing bonus for his next contract.

Looking at it another way, Shyamalan has officially moved into car wreck/natural disaster/graphic war images territory. Despite your deepest fears or your most sincere moral judgments you just can't look away, and when you take a step back you realize you are witnessing a piece of history in the making.

Yes, when our kids are watching Shyamalan's films in shocked awe at midnight screenings 25 years from now (let's be optimistic and assume people will still visit movie theaters in 25 years), you can tell them that you recognized at the time the significance of these films. You knew that you were bearing witness to "a hate crime against film lovers", and that his films brought out the most superlatively creative writing from critics around the world. You knew that these weren't just "bad" movies, but among the worst original productions coming out of a very dark period in Hollywood.

If you don't see The Last Airbender for yourself, see it for future generations. See it for history.

300 Words About: The Happening

It's OK, Jess, it's OK. At least we're not in the theater watching this.

"We've sensed it. We've seen the signs. Now...It's Happening." That's not just the official tagline for The Happening, it's also a perfect summation of my expectations of M. Night Shyamalan's latest offering. I "sensed" it would be the uncontested worst film of the year, I saw the "signs" (simply his last movie, Lady in the Water), and now, indeed, it "happened". On Friday the 13th, Shyamalan pulled the veil off his latest disaster, and once again people are flocking to see it. I vowed I wouldn't pay for it. In a fit of confusion, I ended up paying for it. At least I illegally paid the student price, saving $1.50 in one of my wisest financial decisions in years.

To paraphrase the classic bit from Denny Green, it's clear that Shyamalan "is who we thought he was": the most self-righteous and contemptuous filmmaker currently working in Hollywood. It would defy logic to argue that he's unaware of how bad his movies are, but instead of seeking to make any improvements, he stubbornly continues to try to convince us that we're idiots, and that his conspicuous messages are the new gospel for mankind.

That's the real problem. It's not that the writing and acting are horrid, or that sense and logic are missing from the first frame onward, or that the thrills and chills are about five movies tired now after The Sixth Sense. It's not the terrible supporting characters or the unconvincing special effects or even the worst fake newscasts I've ever seen.

It's that in the middle of all of this, just when the movie should start making fun of itself, Shyamalan again throws a serious message or clichéd fright (e.g., doll on the bed) at us. In short, the difference between garbage like Jumper or Meet the Spartans (my favorite whipping post if you didn't notice) and garbage like The Happening is that garbage like The Happening tries to be serious.

Although Shyamalan preaches, "This is the best B movie that you will ever see," his sincere attempts at romance, suspense, and drama, combined with the heavy-handed message about Mother Nature's wrath, prove (at least to me) that he's just making excuses for the terrible reception. He had plenty of opportunity to make this over-the-top ridiculous - if that was his intention. Instead, he predictably implies that we're morons for not getting it.

I saw The Happening to find out if he could make a movie more offensively awful than Lady in the Water. Is it? I still don't know since it seems comparing two epically bad movies is as difficult as comparing two epically good ones, but I nevertheless truly recommend seeing either one (don't pay for it) in order to sharpen your movie senses.