300 Words About: The Box

So lemme get this straight, that's two disasters in a row from Richard Kelly, right?

Literally the first words I heard after a promotional screening of Richard Kelly's The Box were, "I'm so glad I didn't have to pay for that," from a relieved audience member as he left the theater. Yes you did, I thought to myself. We all did, and in more than one way.

There are a lot of options presented to the characters in The Box, only some of which (I've heard) are taken from the original short story by Richard Matheson, which apparently made for a great "Twilight Zone" episode in the 80's. The options include choosing between this or that, which will lead to one of these things happening first and second and so on. Tragically for me, never was a character presented with an option to outright end the movie and save thousands of lives in theaters around the world. "The button has been pushed," proclaimed a creepy, still-Nixonian Frank Langella, and along with everyone else I had to live with (and eventually die by) the decision I had already made to see this movie.

My disappointment may differ from yours since I'd actually been looking forward to The Box for well over a year, previewing it in my forecast for 2009 and even mentioning it back in my review of Southland Tales. I think what I failed to recognize after Kelly's defense of that disaster is how closely his words resembled M. Night Shyamalan's (who, it should be known by now, is no friend to this blog). Whether you end up seeing The Box or not, know this fact: If Shyamalan and his rising heir-apparent Kelly ever make a film together, it will be a cinematic spectacle of metaphysical frivolity and pompous bloviating like the world has never seen (at least not since Knowing).

It didn't have to be this way. On paper, The Box is just oozing with cinematic potential, and for the first third of the movie Kelly fires on every single cylinder. Yes, there is engaging, assured, brilliant filmmaking for 45 minutes until, tragically, Kelly gives in to what has become the go-to crutch for any movies with a nonsensical plot: aliens. Oops, did I spoil the "twist"?

Don't worry, it's a predictable enough development from the first minute of the movie, and the actual climax has little to do with the supernatural and a lot to do with actual human emotions and the consequences that follow questionably selfish actions. In short, the ending provides everything the rest of the movie lacks. But oh, what a missed opportunity to that point - we get much more silliness than suspense for the last hour, and the most thought-provoking questions are about Kelly himself (e.g., how has such a promising and visionary director gotten away with eight years of mediocrity?).

So if you haven't already seen The Box, you have a decision to make right now. If you press the button on your mouse and choose to see what time it's playing nearby, three things will happen: 1.) You will be on your way to suffering through one of the worst movies I've seen so far this year; 2.) you will understand how truly bad Southland Tales actually was; and 3.) you will be obligated to come back here and try to set me straight, because this movie is sure to inspire debate.