300 Words About: Green Zone

"Look, man, we had to know this would flop after DiCaprio couldn't even carry Body of Lies. At least we got paid up front, right?"

Green Zone is like Glenn Beck, or Keith Olbermann, or even Jon Stewart. It's incredibly loud, incredibly loose-tongued, and incredibly lacking in moderation or nuance of any kind. Incredibly, Universal Pictures wagered $100+ million that cash-strapped audiences would want to see cable news-styled hysterics within the context of one of the most unpopular film genres of our time: the Iraq War movie (remember that The Hurt Locker is the lowest-grossing Best Picture winner in history).

Granted, Universal did have the "Bourne in Baghdad" angle to lure audiences (how has no one made a mash-up trailer yet?), and Paul Greengrass previously directed United 93, one of the best films of the last decade. But as much as Green Zone had on its side in terms of star power, nothing can make up for an extremely dated and painfully retread screenplay by Brian Helgeland - one that overflows with Big Grand Statements, both said and unsaid by its caricatures.

I figured something was wrong when Universal kept pushing the release date for Green Zone later and later (eventually past the 12/31/09 Oscar eligibility deadline), but wow, I haven't been this disappointed since about 10 minutes ago, when I saw that Brian Helgeland also wrote the upcoming Robin Hood reboot starring Russell Crowe.

REVIEW: Flash of Genius (C+)

I had to do a little background research on Flash of Genius before I saw it, if only to confirm that it was actually a movie about windshield wipers. A cast led by Greg Kinnear (Ghost Town) and Lauren Graham ("Gilmore Girls") was appealing enough, so with a healthy dose of curiosity I found myself in a packed preview screening a couple weeks ago for a movie that, well, was indeed about windshield wipers. Excuse me, intermittent windshield wipers.

Adapted from this 1993 New Yorker article by screenwriter Philip Railsback, Flash of Genius tells the true story of Bob Kearns (who died in 2005), an engineering professor and amateur inventor who invented the intermittent windshield wiper in 1962, only to see the the local automakers in his native Detroit, including Ford and Chrysler, effectively steal his invention and begin permanently featuring the windshield wipers that we all take for granted today.

Maybe take a break here, have a glass of water and let your heart rate get back to baseline. Make sure you're prepared for the excitement coming later in the legal proceedings.

For a movie like Flash of Genius to work it needs to evoke sympathy from the viewer, but unfortunately in this case we feel sorry for the wrong person - Kearn's wife, Phyllis (Graham), who saw her husband devote well over a decade of his life to fighting Ford for the due credit for his invention. Assuming his efforts were in vain (Kinnear has compared Kearns' fight to "taking on Google today"), Phyllis somewhat understandably left him and ended up caring for their six children on her own. You probably know what happens at the end of the story, as it wouldn't make for a very good movie if it didn't end in the usually predictable fashion.

It's not that the life and legacy of Bob Kearns isn't an important one, it's just that Flash of Genius doesn't treat it like one. There's a moment, for example, when Kearns is walking to his car in the pouring rain on a dark night. Backed by an ominous musical score, a menacing Ford Mustang growls at the nearest stoplight. As our pulse quickens, Kearns anxiously squints through the storm at the approaching beast as the scene reaches its dramatic climax: the wipers have a 1.75 second pause between cycles. End scene.

If only someone had worked so painstakingly to make a better movie...

Greg Kinnear's performance deserves a better script here (the only bright spot is a monologue delivered by Alan Alda as Kearns' attorney), and Bob Kearns' life deserves a better movie. Somebody thought they had their own "flash of genius" in deciding to turn John Seabrook's article into a movie, but I'm sorry to say the insipid Flash of Genius is an invention we probably could have done without, somewhat like an "As Seen on TV!" product featured in a late-night infomercial. Sounds about right, actually, and I recommend changing the channel.

Grade:
Writing - 7
Acting - 9
Production - 7
Emotional Impact - 7
Music - 4
Social Significance - 5

Total: 39/50= 78% = C+